HOPE YOUR VALENTINES DAY IS HAPPY

I know mine will be. My wife one amazing creature. I am well and truly blesssed by her presence in my life. Not to mention the presence of the three little girls sitting in the other room right now, watching TV!

It will be 18 years ago in May since I first laid eyes on her. And my thought then was "that is the sweetest girl I have ever seen".
It will be 18 years in December when I laid eyes on her for the second time, and I thought then "that is the sweetest girl I have ever seen" (I didn't recognize her at first as the same girl). Now, after 17.33 years of marriage - she still is.

Mass, Vacation, Etc...

I had the RARE pleasure of going on "vacation" last month. Vacation being 4 days at the beach, but it was (literally) the nicest four days of my life. The weather was perfect, the place was perfect, the kids were perfect... Absolutely amazing that it all worked out. Made all the sweeter by the fact that we had not had a break AT ALL in about four years. Every waking moment of every day since August of 2004 was either at work or taking care of the kids/house. My wife and I hired a babysitter once to go to the MEF Mass at Our Lady of Grace (3 hours), and once for dinner (3 hours).

From Friday morning until the following Wednesday morning, I didn't read the paper, or see or hear the news at all. A self-imposed news blackout which made for a blessedly peaceful weekend. Call it blissful ignorance if you'd like, but it worked.
In spite of all of the stress and economic doomsaying that has happened since, it hasn't gotten me down like it did before. I watch with interest and fascination, but with no personal anxiety whatsoever. Amazing what the human brain can cope with once you give it a chance to recover !!!

Mass was fascinating, though! As you see, I don't travel much and rarely if ever get to see mass outside of my home church and the aforementioned OLG. So Saturday evening, my wife, mother-in-law, myself, and the powerpuff girls attended a "bi-lingual" mass, at Holy Trinity Catholic Chapel. Needless to say "bi-lingual" meant it was nearly all in Spanish, but with an obviously non-spanish speaking priest, there were some oddities. The opening prayer was in English, but virtually everything else was in Spanish save for a few words here and there. The Gospel was read in Spanish, by a nun. Something I had never seen before. The homlily was in English, but interpreted real-time. The eucharistic prayer was English, but everything else from that point on was spanish, and led either by the same nun or another lay person.

All that said, the mass was WONDERFUL. There were altar boys, reverent and precise. And even all of the lay participants were reverent, precise and well practiced. The congregation was so young, so passionate and reverent and there were kids EVERYWHERE. I was more comfortable there than at my home church. The ushers gave out a very detailed spanish-english handout of all of the prayers and hymns, in order, which was very easy to follow. Allowing me to sing and pray along in spanish* with no trouble at all, though I know little spanish beyond what one hears on Dora the Explorer.

I want to go back....

* At the risk of sounding conceited, I have a gift of being able, with very little practice, to pronounce a foreign language for the most part as a native speaker. Naturally, "sight reading" in a foreign language has its limitations, but for the purpose of participating in mass, it works great.

Life Goes On - Updated

It has been nearly a month since I last posted. Wow... Based on all of the twists and turns of the world since then, not to mention those in my life personally, that is no surprise. It seems, having blogged for a couple of years now, and read blogs for a bit longer than that, that there are some people who take the stress in their lives and turn it into something of a muse-fountain and turn up the blog output as a result.

I am not one of them. I take stress, and turn it inward, and lose most - if not all - my inspiration. I think of PLENTY of things that I want to say, but cannot for the life of me figure out how to say them. So they just sit. And fester.

For example, a bit over two weeks ago, I was told that the following Wednesday (Sept 3rd) that our company would be laying off a large number of people. I spent five days wondering if I was on that list. Well, Wednesday came, and I was not. But I did get a 20% pay / hour cut, as did all of the remaining folks. A tough thing to handle, but not as tough as 100%. My thoughts and prayers are with those on the list. And with those of us whose fate - barring a serious upturn in the economy - is destined to be the same in a few months. I should be "secure" until about Christmas, at least. And I use the word "secure" very very lightly.

Anyway. So goes life. I don't want to sound whiny. Just want to explain the situation. I know it's a long way from "Brother can you spare a Dime", but it does weigh on the mind when you have the mouths to feed that I do.

Just Because

This has to be one of the least flattering pictures of me ever, but, It was a proud time. Exhausting, but proud. So, why not....

The Powerpuff Girls

Blossom, Commander and the Leader
Bubbles, she's the joy and the laughter
Buttercup, she's the toughest fighter
Powerpuffs save the day!!!

(Note: this post has not a thing to do with the mass or the catholic church, it's just a Father bragging.)

I am blessed enough to have not only a beautiful wife, but three beautiful children. A friend of my wifes once said, "Oh, just like the Powerpuff Girls!!!" And she (unknowingly) hit it right on the head. Allow me to explain...

First, we have soon to be six year old "Blossom" (see middle character above) - though I call her princess. Since an incredibly early age she has been creative, intellectual, and always wanting to direct things. When we play she says things like "you stand here, and say___" She still is that way. Only now she spends as much time "mothering" and teaching her little sisters as she does telling me how to play. Definitely the Commander and the Leader! Daddy already has her pegged to be a nun - or more of a Mother Superior.

Second comes three year old "Buttercup" (on the right above), whom I nicknamed "Wild Thing". Strong willed, strong physically, VERY physical, and absolutely fearless. And with a pain threshold almost beyond belief. Since she was about 6 months old we called her "the bowling ball", based on her seeming indestructibility and penchant for ramming in to and knocking over things. The toughest fighter indeed!!!! I can easily see her, wearing a flight suit, helmet in hand, on the deck of an aircraft carrier, climbing into the cockpit of an F-18.

Third comes "Bubbles" (on the left above) - nickname "Cherry Pie". She's beautiful beyond all reason. Never seen a child smile and laugh so much. Of course now that she is almost two, the smile and laugh times are contrasted sharply with the insufferably moody ones, but she is still a sweetheart most of the time. I can't imagine the exact career choice for this one, but her love of dancing and music, combined with her looks, means that all of the ones I do imagine scare the heck out of me. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll be the next Danica Patrick, on the cover of Sports Illustrated with good reason, and good looks, rather than just the latter.

Or maybe I am just a crazy dad with crazy ideas for his girls....

Madness

I once knew a man, friend of my fathers', who used to say "I like nice things". He was a very successful businessman with a history of, shall we say brutal successes. One was considered luck if, having done a deal with him, one survived with the skin on his back - because the shirt was gone for sure. That combined with an almost shark like sense for businesses that were bleeding and weak - ripe for the kill, so to speak.. His explanation of his success was always simply "I like nice things". That was it. He liked nice things, and he was willing to do whatever it took to get them and keep them. That said he was very kind and generous to my father, and I will always be grateful for that.

Now here we are, as a culture, doing whatever it takes to get and keep "Nice Things". In itself, that isn't bad, of course. I like nice things too. The problem occurs when the acquisition of those nice things involves giving up too many other, important things. Like home and family.

I plead guilty here. I work way too much, and so does my wife. But for some reason, I don't have much in the way of "nice things" to show for it. I have a decent house in a decent neighborhood - no McMansion for sure. I drive a ten year old used minivan, and thank God for it, because there's no way I could afford to replace it! I look at our income, and am amazed at how it seems to evaporate. Sometimes I just want to throw up my hands and say to hell with it all, pack the kids up in the van and just roll. To Montana or somewhere. I know that's not realistic, but DAMN. I just can't seem to see the way out. Perhaps there isn't one. Just keep my head down and keep paying off debts and wait to get out of the tunnel. I just hope I make it out of the tunnel in this lifetime!

Up To Speed

It occurs to me looking at my Blog that it has been over a month since I posted anything.

In the intervening weeks much has happened, both at work and at home, which has demanded a lot of time and energy. My wife being quite sick, along with various sick child maladies and demands kind of monopolized my time and energy. Work has been being quite demanding of my time as well. Having lost my assistant I am left doing all of the drafting myself, which, while not difficult, and enjoyable to some extent, is still a time demand.

In addition to the lack of Blogging for the past month, I have also been unable to attend the Mass in the Extraordinary Form which is being said on a pretty regular basis in Winston Salem now. I had it all worked out last Sunday. I was going to get ready while my wife was at mass with our daughter, and leave as soon has they got home. That was not to be, however. While she was at mass (leaving me home with the 1 and 2 year olds) I managed to get myself locked in the garage. I tried for several minutes to dismantle the lock to gain entry, but that was taking some time and frustration. Then, my daughter started called me, worried because she was alone. That was all it took. Two slams of the shoulder, the door frame gave way, and I was in! BUT, that necessitated me taking the nest several hours to try to reconstruct the door frame. Hence the missing of the TLM.

It all worked out okay, though. I went to 7:00 PM mass at Our Lady of Grace, and it was beautiful. Feast of Christ the King! The "Big Six" candles lit on the high altar, the vestments were gorgeous, and there was a matching chalice veil! Praise God! It actually felt like church.

There is more to talk about that has happened in the intervening weeks, but I'll drop it at this right now. The rest of the stuff is more particular, and best covered in individual posts.

Life and Times

Anybody who has read or heard the news in the last few months knows about the problems in the mortgage and housing industries. Those of us involved in the industry have been watching and listening warily - fearfully - to each new bit of news. It was one of those situations where you knew something bad was going to happen, but there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Amazingly (at least to me) the industry kept plugging along like there was no tomorrow. We were swamped with work, subdivisions going up, houses going up, development everywhere.

Until this month.

Now, in a span of a few weeks, most of our big clients called and put a hold on all of their projects "until at least next spring". Now there is little work in-house, and very few prospects for more. I personally have no work to do to speak of. Yesterday we laid off half of my field staff, and then we had a company meeting wherein it was explained just how dire the situation is, and how we think we can all hang on until January, but after that, unless something changes, we will have to cut virtually everyone else. This is all set in the background knowledge that there are several firms in this business, both big and small, who have or are getting ready to go out of business entirely. Needless to say, it gives me pause.

Of course, I am prone to overreaction, so maybe it'll all work out and happy days will be here again in a few months! In the meantime, I can't get this song out of my head...



It has been said that those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. But that ignores the fact that those who do remember history are doomed to worry about repeating it!!!!

What if.....

A few day ago, the brilliant Father Z created a post, entitled What if..

It was thought provoking, chilling thought provoking. It has got me thinking in detail about such scenarios, planning, preparing. How could anyone do otherwise? Remember Hurricane Andrew? or more recently (and famously) Katrina? Hordes of people, on the road, nowhere to go, no way to sustain themselves, no prospects.....

I started to think about this in some way many many years ago, when I saw the opening episode of James Burke's series CONNECTIONS. He goes into extreme, chilling (again) detail on how far out on the social/technological limb we are all living. YOU owe it to yourself to watch this show, now in segments on youtube, here is segment 1:



Then think about it, think clearly, REALLY think...
If you had to feed and shelter yourself, and your family, how would you?
If you had to get out, how would you?
Remember, you and your family will be dead in a week if you don't have food and shelter.
Where would you go, and How?
Run, Drive, Hitchhike?
Do you have a destination?
Is it safe?
How do you know?
Is it defensible?

Remember, when All Hell breaks loose, millions of people will be unprepared, and will come boiling out of every city like fire ants, looking for food and shelter. Some of them will not be very nice people to begin with, and ALL of them will be desperate. They will want what you have, be it your shelter, your food, your wife, your kids. Are you willing and able to protect them?

You've been without power for a few days, it's no problem, if you're prepared. But what if it's a few weeks? Or a month? Or a year? Think it can't happen? Read this. When it does, what will you do? The world is full of people who would relish the prospect. They dream of the Great Satan being crippled, starving, broke. So far they have been unlucky, gotten caught - but eventually luck turns.

What about religious persecution? Or government persecution - Papers, Please.
Think it can't happen? So did these nice people.

Think about it...

Weekend

I had an absolutely beautiful weekend. I didn't have to work, for once, got to spend lots of time with my wife and children. Had a relaxing Saturday. Sunday we took the girls to a museum in Durham, complete with butterfly house! A big hit, to say the least. Monday, we saved for house and yard work. Even that went off without a hitch. In fact, we took the great leap of going out to a restaurant with the girls, and a great time was had by all. That marks the first time we, as a family, have been to a real restaurant (fast food and barbecue don't count). Kilo is generally a bit, shall we say, enthusiastic (i.e. wide open, I don't call her "wild thing" for nothing). Yet even she was good as gold. Well, maybe bronze. Lima and Delta were both great, too. All in all about as close to perfect as you can get.

I went to mass Saturday evening, which is almost unheard of for me, and it was beautiful. Yes, it was, of course, Novus Ordo, and in english, and the hymns weren't my favorites, but it was very reverent, sincere, and satisfying. The choir, and accompaniment, while not completely traditional, was very good, and gets better all the time, it seems. It was just very very nice.

I have put a great deal of blogeffort into bitching about mass, music, etc. And I am quite sincere in my bitchiness. This time, for some reason, I am ignoring the few sick and misshapen trees, and just relish the beauty of the forest. I thank God for that blessing. I needed it.

And no, all of my fellow friendly trads out there, I am not jumping ship or anything. I still see many things that need changing, and I will continue blogging about them. But for once, with God's grace, I was not distracted from what was there, what was happening RIGHT THERE, on that altar. The whole absurdly preposterous idea that Jesus was there for ME! Giving Himself to me as if I deserved it! Me in all my weakness and unworthiness. How could anyone see that, believe that, and not be moved to tears?

Mothers Day

My wife is perfect. Yes, I know, that only the Blessed Mother was perfect, and yes, I know what that means. My wife is perfect for me. If I could write a description of everything I needed or wanted in a wife, I'd still wind up with her, I have no doubt.

That having been said, she is also as perfect a Mom as she could possibly be and still be human. She is loving, patient - strong and soft at the same time. She is so focused on teaching and nurturing our three girls that I am constantly amazed. I mean, I try to be a good Daddy, and I think I do okay, but I am nowhere near her league. The funny thing is, that, prior to the birth of our first child some 5 years ago, she would not - literally would not - hold a baby. That fear/hesitance lasted about three days, and since then she has been on an uninterrupted climb to Mommy Stardom. I am so lucky. I am so blessed.

I guess I was in childhood, too. My own mother, who passed on 15 years ago this week, was amazing. She made me who and what I am (at least the good parts). I Loved her dearly. I still do, I suppose, and always will.