SLACKNESS INDICATOR

YEARS AGO I came up with one of my rules-of-thumb for life. It was based on many years of careful observation, and has served me well over the years. It stated, simply, "Never trust a man who wears flip-flops."

It is important to note the gender-related factor here - women go by a different set of rules when it comes to footwear (that's fodder for another post). And there is the factor of context - beach or poolside use.

But by and large, my rule has served me well over the years. Naturally, there are exceptions - a former client who was nicknamed "flip-flop". Flip Flop was in fact a great guy and fantastic client. In fact, he stands out as the one true exception that comes to mind.

Though times and styles may change, some basic principals are timeless. And one of these is that ones attire (footwear or otherwise) should render one ready to do at least some productive activity. Flip-flops, by their nature, scream BEACH PARTY, and are more appropriate for spring break and a keg than for any real productive work. Any footwear that does not attach securely to one's feet is wholly unsuited to productive activity. (Sandals, by comparison, are pretty handy and comfortable and offer all of the comfort of flip-flops without any of the slackiness. Or the annoying sound effects.)

I also know that for the gen X or Y er, that these ubiquitous but annoying contraptions are considered to render them ready for "work". The only problem being that work for them is seen as some activity for which they are paid large sums of money based entirely on the fact that they managed to land a job as a computer geek or something. Thus rendering themselves worthy of such rewards even though their chief accomplishment in life is the total lack of accomplishment - he looks like a slacker-geek, therefore he must be BRILLIANT!!! God forbid someone should hire a 30-year old! Everyone knows that "these kids are soooo smart nowadays"!!

And lest we forget (or you haven't noticed) most peoples feet are just ugly as hell. No two ways about it. I don't really want to see that. Nobody does. Add to that the aforemetioned annoying sound effect, and the only conclusion possible is that the flip-flopping of our nation must stop NOW!!!!